Topic : It is not a good idea to go to shopping when you are hungry
Kind of Development : Development by space
It is not a good idea to go grocery shopping when we are hungry. The grocery is far in the distant south about two kilometers from here. T-intersection in front of the street there is an art gallery. A bit closer of it’s place is post office. In the west close by school are housting authority. Two hundreds meter before that there is a supermarket. A bit closer of our position is hospital.
Feedbacks:
- Organisation: The topic sentence cannot be developed by "space". You have chosen the wrong type of development. However, regardless of the topic sentence, the development of your paragraph is ok - it shows that you understand this type of development.
- Grammar & vocab: generally ok.
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