Feedback on Assignment 2 – Risman

Topic : An athlete in training need to show much self-discipline
Kind of Development : Development from supporting fact to general statement

An athlete in training need to show much self-discipline. An athlete that apply self-discipline will get benefit for their self. for example self-discipline on time an athlete will be able to practice came to the area on time. They also will respect the time and using it efficiently. On other hand self-discipline in cloting will give beautiful performance. So that, the their trainer will love them. Therefore self-discipline for an athlete is important in training.

FEEDBACKS:
-Organisation: ok.

- Grammar:
Sentence 2: "An athlete" must not go with "their self" (and it must be "themselves"). It should be "An athlete..... for him/herself"
"On other hand" must be "On the other hand"
In "the their trainer", you do not need "the", so just write "So that, their trainer."