Feedback on Assignment 2 – Faridh Hidayat

Topic : Clothing styles change from one country to another
Kind of Development : Development from general statement to supporting fact

Clothing styles changes from one country to another. It caused some factors such as, buyer power of people are increasing, every country want to be stylist, they want to be beautiful, and they want their performance different than others. Another factors is there are some designers who have good idea modificating their design in clothing styles.

FEEDBACKS:

- Organisation: The topic sentence and the supporting sentences are rather irrelevant. Your topic sentence is about "changes in styles of clothing in different countries", so the supporting sentences must be about the different styles of clothing, not about the factors that affect it.

- Grammar : It caused by some factors ..
buyer power must be purchasing power