Topic : It is not a good idea to go to shopping when you are hungry
Kind of Development : Development from general statement to supporting facts
Go to grocery shopping is not a good idea when you are hungry. Grocery shopping only make you more confuse because it is not provide the instant food in this case if you are hungry you can eat in direct way. Grocery shopping only provide the rude food, so you must cook it before you eat.
FEEDBACKS:
- Organisation: The supporting sentences do not really SUPPORT the topic sentence, not only they are too short, but also because they are irrelevant.You should have written about why shopping while hungry is not a good idea. Next time, you need to develop your paragraph in a better way.
- Gram & vocab: not bad as they go, but again there is not enough to evaluate your grammar & vocab.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment